What Parent Coaching can do for you...
I am so excited to be offering Parent Coaching as one of my services. Throughout my work with parents over the last few years, I have seen just how little support is available for parents in our communities. Especially now with the pandemic, parents are over-taxed, stressed, and often put into impossible positions. In my own life, my husband and I were both working full time and then, all of a sudden, were virtually schooling our children in addition to working. It certainly put a strain on my marriage, my relationship with my boys, and my own relationship to myself. Our stress levels increased dramatically and out typical support systems and activities for self care were gone.
During 2020, I completed an additional training program through the Sacred Depths Institute, learning to hold families more deeply than I ever had been able to as a therapist. Coaching allowed me the room to help people build on their strengths, peel away at fears and patterns, and make longer lasting transformation in their lives. Through coaching, my parents are more able to find their inner strengths and tap into those strengths to make decisions and parent their children more gently and respectfully. There are so many amazing programs out there to help parents learn behavioral strategies for engaging with their children. In addition to that, however, parents need to be supported in rewiring negative thought patterns and examining triggers and old messages that creep up when we are feeling tired, stressed, or unsure about the decisions we are making. For example, I work with many parents who admit that they have trouble setting boundaries. They read all the books and take all the courses that teach them how and when to set boundaries, but during the actual process, fear, guilt, and shame begin to creep into their thoughts. This may lead to them giving in to their child or creating an even harsher boundary. The parent finds themselves making a boundary that is set from this fear or guilt.
A personal anecdote- In the store one day, my son was crying and getting upset about wanting a toy from the toy department. I had told him before going to the store that we would look at toys but not buy any. His tantrum got louder and more demanding. I could feel myself becoming anxious. My palms were sweating. I knew I needed to keep to the boundary, but was starting to feel my own rush of emotions about the scene unfolding in the store. I was feeling guilty, worried about what people would think of me, mad at myself for being worried about what people would think of me, like a bad mom because my son was having a tantrum in the store, annoyed that I thought I was “doing everything right” by setting the boundary beforehand but then the tantrum still happened, unsure of myself as a parent, and so on. This one meaningless incident had pushed me into fight or flight mode at the store, brought up a slew of triggers, and caused me to doubt myself as a parent. Then, when it came time to hold to the boundary, I was reacting out of fear, guilt, and shame- and not from a place of love, compassion, and empowerment.
The shame and guilt did not go away after leaving the store. It lingered and continued to bother me. What had I done wrong? Why did the techniques I learned not work? How was I such a failure as a mom that I couldn’t stop a tantrum in the toy aisle at Target? Through my own personal coaching, I have been able to look at these triggers and negative thought patterns, peel away the layers and messages that have been contributing to these patters for years, and discover my own inner strength at saying present in these types of situations.
Parent coaching is about setting specific goals for yourself- maybe you want to handle tantrums more effectively, yell less, or deal with sibling rivalry differently. Maybe you want to feel more confident in yourself as a parent, feel less shame around setting limits, experience less anxiety when your child cries or shares big feelings. Maybe you just want more joy and ease in parenting. A few sessions of parent coaching can bring you this. Parent Coaching is offered in packages of 4, 8, or 12 sessions- depending on your goals. It will allow you to get to the root of your negative thought patterns so that you feel more confident and empowered in the parenting decisions you make. While working on these inner patterns, you will also learn simple and easy ways to set limits, deal with sibling rivalry, be comfortable with big feelings and conflict, and sail through power struggles all while maintaining a connected and positive attachment to your child.
If you’re interested in Parent Coaching, please reach out from the Contact page or email me at cindy@holisticsleepcenter.com.