Avoiding the Holiday burnout
The holiday season is here! And with that comes holiday burnout. This is an obvious one for parents- but kids can experience holiday burnout also. It might sound ridiculous, but it’s true! All of the excitement, travel, and activity can lead children to feel their own type of overwhelm, disappointment, overload and anxiety. I covered this a little bit in my post before Thanksgiving but wanted to take a minute to dive more deeply into it.
Children and babies have underdeveloped nervous systems. All children are different, but some can experience more overwhelm around the holidays than others. The combination of schedules being off, excitement, travel, and interrupted meals can wreak havoc on the nervous system of children and babies. This can result in sleep disruptions, behavioral issues, and an overall sense of discomfort for them. Children and babies “borrow” the ability to regulate themselves from their parents or caregivers. When the adults in their lives also feel overwhelmed by the holidays, this can create an increased feeling of unease in children.
To help deal with this sense of holiday overload or burnout, here are some quick tips:
Keep activity to a minimum. Don’t feel pressure to do all the activities and spend all the time at each event. Choose a handful of activities that are meaningful to your family. Don’t spend more than a few hours at each one. Children have a limited ability to participate in things for more than 45-60 minutes before needing a break. Consider staying somewhere for, at most, 2 hours for really young children. This will allow them time to enjoy the activity without becoming overstimulated by it. In the middle of that period, take the child outside or to a quiet room for 5 minutes to reset before going back to the activity.
Saying no is ok and use the “collective we.” One of the best tips I ever learned was to use the “collective we” in your response to things. For example, Aunt Sally wants you to come over after the parade. You know your child will be tired, but don’t want to disappoint her so you say yes to her invitation. However, by using the “collective we,” you can say, “My husband and I (aka, the “collective we”) agreed that we would come home right after the parade so we can put Olivia down for a nap.” Using “we” presents you and your husband as a team and takes the responsibility off of only you to make the decision and risk letting Aunt Sally down. This small change in language can lead to such a huge shift in your relationships. It allows friends and family members to see you, your spouse, and your children as your own family unit and keeps one spouse from being the “bad guy.” If you haven’t talked to your spouse about Aunt Sally’s invitation yet, you could also say, “Husband and I will talk about it and let you know what we decide.”
Make sleep and meals a priority- This is so important. Sticking to your sleep and meal schedule will go a long way toward avoiding burn out. The holiday season is long! Depending on what you celebrate, you can be celebrating from November to January. This is enough time for sleep to get way off track. For children in school, a very long break is also enough to turn their sleep schedules upside down. Continue to make wake times, naps, and bedtime a priority. This may mean saying, “No” to an invitation (see, using the “collective we”) and that’s ok. You are doing what’s best for your child by preserving their sleep and you will be preventing a sliding schedule that has to be repaired once the holiday season is over.